One of the things that attracted me to my DH was that we could talk about the stuff that no one ever wanted to face.  See, I grew up in the middle of a cornfield (Ok, maybe not seriously, but pretty damned close anyway!), and when you grow up pretty isolated there really isn't much to do let alone much call to talk about anything paranormal or metaphysical.

In all honesty it still feels strange to have a conversation outside my head about all the stuff that I think about in that vein.  However, ghosts have kind of wiggled their way into our lives and we have learned to live with them.

Unfortunately, ours has been mostly quiet again.  "Whoever" seems to come and go in waves of activity.  There for a while we were getting constant movement, noise, voices...lately we've been pretty close to nothing.  I think there must be a period of "recharging" that needs to take place.

Though I have to admit I'm starting to see things out of the corner of my eye again.  Yesterday was laundry day so I saw Foster a couple of times.  I also saw someone walking down our stairs leading to our basement yesterday afternoon.  Then Saturday night I was finishing up working on the laptop, and not so much out of the corner of my eye, but in the peripheral vision above my glasses I saw a more gold than white streak of light go from the ceiling and make a slight 1/2 moon type curve down toward the floor and disappear.

Anywho - I digress (yet again)! One of our new favorite TV shows though is on the Biography channel called "My Ghost Story".  I think it's a fantastic show (way better than their Psychic Kids show...that one just pisses me off), and it's basically real people talking about their ghostly experiences along with any still photos or video that they've taken to document their experiences.  We've actually seen some fantastic video on this show. 

My favorite, so far, was a guy who's TV remote was sitting on his table and all of a sudden it would jerk and move across the table a little ways.  My first thought was, there's some kind of fishing line attached to it causing it, but because he knew that there were going to be skeptics he picked it up and showed that there was nothing attached to it to make it do it.  He put it back down on the table and it moved again.  It was pretty cool.

DH's favorite, I think, to date is where a family bought a house and moved in.  Their small son mentioned a boy living in his closet and it was freaking him out.  After having multiple experiences in the house, they called in a paranormal group who sat on the floor with a really light ball and the ball slowly moved across the floor.  He loved that video so much he bought a ball from the cheapy store....I think he's secretly wishing I'd play with the ghost and the ball while he's at the office one night so I can get it on video.  =)  hehehe

Good stuff so far!  Check it out if you get the chance!

Jewell  =)

So...here's the udpate....

....there isn't one!  *sigh*

I am finally to the portion of  So you want to be a Medium: A Down to Earth Guide where the mediation exercises are listed, and yet I'm not having any luck.

It isn't so much a problem with the visualization part as the breathing part.  One of her breathing exercises says to breathe in for a count of 8, hold for a count of 6, and breathe out for a count of 10.  While I understand the point behind the exercise...I feel like I have been holding my breath and immediately have to take multiple deep breaths like I've been drowning.

When we still lived in Las Vegas, the majority of the meditating that I did was while I was still a smoker, and yet now that I've stopped it's almost as if it's gotten harder to regulate my breathing.  It's weird really and very very frustrating.

I'll keep trudging along in the meantime.  =)

Jewell

Curiosity

Hi everyone!  =)  I hope you all had a happy and safe weekend!

American Gothic

I  got to thinking this weekend about the fact that there are some family that haven't made themselves known since they crossed.  My mom has, my cat has, and my grandfather in his dream time visits, but my aunt hasn't, and grandmother hasn't. 

The closest that I ever came to my grandmother visiting was when I to go to a clinic to have a D&C to complete a miscarriage.  Though I was out like a light with the gas, I remember as clearly as if I was awake and lucid when it happened.  My grandmother and my grandfather (who has visited) were suddenly standing there in front of me.  My grandmother kind of reminded me of the woman in the American Gothic painting, very stoic.  My grandfather, though, was his usual animated self  he always is in our dream time visits.  My grandmother was holding a baby wrapped in a pink blanket with a pink knit cap (like you would expect to see in a hospital nursery).  I knew, that at that moment we had had a daughter, and that she was now with family who would take care of her.  I'm pretty sure that as soon as they took the gas mask off my face I started to come around, and I remember trying to get the nurse or the doctor...someone....to tell me if I said anything out loud when I was under.  It was as real and vivid and 3D as a dream visit and I knew that they had been there, that they had been the ones to help her cross, so I was frantic to find out if I actually managed to say anything out loud.  Unfortunately, I will never know...the staff at the clinic were overworked, underpaid, and couldn't give one hair on a rat's ass about you or their job. 

But that one visit of my grandmother...that stoic demeanor while my grandfather was his usual animated and smiling self.  I've never been able to *get* that or to understand why she hasn't come to visit.  I wonder if she visited my mom and if mom recognized them as visits or ghostly activity?  It's something now that I wish I had thought to ask mom when she was still here. 

Maybe my grandmother's lack of visits has something to do with her belief structure when she was still alive?  Is she too busy doing crafts, reconnecting with her family long gone, learning a new sort of spiritual journey?  I just don't know....  I do know that she was there for her great-granddaughter though and that (stoic or not) seems to make the whole situation more bearable, even after all these years!

Jewell

My Foster Boy!

So I think I might have mentioned somewhere (like somewhere around *here*) that I think we have multiple ghosts in the house.  One of them made an appearance last night.  There is no question who this one is....

Here....let me introduce you to him....

Everyone...this is one of my babies.  His name is Foster.  Unfortunately we had to put him to sleep May 20, 2009, after he got seriously ill with diabetes.  He was diagnosed and within 2 weeks he had to put him down.  Every once in a while he makes an appearance around the house.

Last night I had come out to the living room to give DH a kiss goodnight, the lights were out in the living room, the light in our bedroom was on, and all other cats were accounted for.  In fact, when I first saw him walk across the room, I thought it was actually one of the other cats, but he was already passed out on the bed in the bedroom.

Nothing exciting he was just walking across the floor like I've seen him do hundreds of times when he was alive.  He's been around a lot though since he crossed...

Generally it's just seeing him out of the corner of my eye, but I've also caught him sitting in his favorite window watching the goings on outside just like he did when he was alive. 

Also, I wash laundry every Sunday, and he always used to help me with it.  Anytime I got up to go change the laundry around he always came in with me.  One day a couple of weeks ago I was in there doing what needs to be done in order to keep the laundry moving and I saw him again, and without thinking started talking to him.  =)  Talk about habit! =)  Probably a good thing that DH wasn't in the house at the time.  =)

Weird....as I am sitting here typing I am smelling something...almost like fresh cut flowers, but more specifically a certain kind of flower that I can't put my finger on.  Dang it - now this is going to drive me nuts!  *sigh*  If I have a sudden revelation I'll make another post.

Anywho...that was the latest experience!  Short and sweet...just like my Foster baby  =)

Jewell

Intolerance pisses me off

Ok, so intolerance pisses me off.  I have to say I am human, I have been known to be intolerant (not to be confused with impatient which is something I still haven't managed to get complete control over) a time or two as I've grown older.  Yet, the older I get the less intolerant I find myself becoming.  Maybe it's because I find myself learning that the whole world isn't black and white...it really is a myriad of color and chaos and wonder and and and and....{insert your adjective(s) of choice here}    I am learning that I am willing to listen, to learn a different way of thinking.  I may not agree with it, I may not choose to adopt your belief structure into my life, but I am willing to be respectful of you and of it.

And still Monday morning I woke up to read a relatively short post by a Christian of a different blog who basically said that I am wrong.  What I believe is wrong.  Really?  When did this person become the God he claims to follow and bow to?  Who is he to judge whether I am right or wrong in what I believe?   What makes what the writer believes any more right than I do?

This has *always* been a huge issue (when it comes to religion) for me.  I grew up in a house that had no religion (and really no spirituality to speak of).  That's not to say that neither of my parents didn't have religion in their lives as they grew up, they just didn't bring it into our house.  There were still the prayers before every meal anytime we were with family, but in our house it was every man for himself and if you were late in getting to the table - scraps was your dinner.

Instead, I find that I was blessed with the fact that I was left to sort things out on my own.  I am pretty sure that, while I have spent part of my life searching, one thing I have learned is that I have a mind of my own (just ask DH) and I am pretty capable at compiling my own thoughts on my life and my beliefs without anyone trying to convince me any different.

Just to give you a quick overview on what I've come up with at this point in my journey...

1 - I am more capable of having what I consider to be a religious experience by sitting outside and listening to the birds, to watching nature grow and develop, to die and come back to life....to see a cycle that is pure and not reliant on the hand of man to for it's continuity.

2 - I don't need a building that is bigger than my house to worship to a power greater than myself.

3 - I don't need to donate money to a group of people or religion.  DH has his own theories on why people tithe(is that even the right word, I don't have the slightest idea)  in church, but personally I don't understand it.  They do understand that the money doesn't really go to God Himself, right?

4 - I believe in ghosts, I believe in reincarnation, I believe that you can communicate with those that have crossed over, I believe in multiple levels of spiritual progression that goes beyond life, death, the angels, God, Jesus, Mary and Joseph.......

5 - I don't believe that I need to have a special place in the ground with a rock with my name on it to show that I had lived.  I believe that if I lived my life the way I should - people will remember me with or without the rock.  Why take away from nature to have an outdoor morgue?  Burn me, throw me into the wind, and let me return to nature's cycle...

6 - I believe that this world (for all it's good and bad), this universe, this galaxy is entirely too big, too beautiful and too diverse that credit for it's creation can be given to one single entity, let alone created in a lowly 7 days.  Who's to say that every God(s) and Goddess(es) of every religion and faith weren't a part of its creation?  Not to mention who's to say that Darwinism isn't right to some extent as well?

I don't seriously get the all or nothing mentality of religion.  Tolerance and respect seem to be a couple of the basic tenets of most religions...and yet why is it that from one religion to another, from one religious person to one spiritual person, from one straight person to a gay person, from a person of one color to a person of any other color, or from one man to one woman can't there be some willingness to learn, to respect, to be tolerant of the beliefs of another?  To know that everyone has the basic right to believe what they believe, to live their lives in a way that is happy, healthy, and productive to society?

Always and respectfully....

Jewell  =)

I know there was some mention....

Ok, I know I might have kinda sorta, maybe, mentioned somewhere that there was going to be some journeying along with me on my road to trying to develop my ability to become a medium.  =)  Well, I am going to be getting started on that this week. I've kind of been hemming and hawing over the thought of sharing those types of experiences "out loud" (so to speak)....as I've stumbled through this blog I've gotten a little more comfortable so we'll see how it goes.

I have read A LOT of books over the years on how to do begin doing this, most of them haven't really been worth the $$ for the paper the words were printed on.  I did read some that were ok, they maybe had good exercises, but the overall message of the book fell short.  However, there is one book that I absolutely connected with.  It's called  So you want to be a Medium: A Down to Earth Guide It is well written, and in a voice that is very comfortable and likeable, almost like she is there with you.  It is absolutely the best book I have read to date on the subject, at least for me anyway, and I would absolutely recommend it to anyone that is interested in developing these abilities for themselves.

I remember that as I read the first time she had me thinking about different topics, so I might reference the book again in a post down the road if I am prompted by a thought after doing some reading!

I am going to start re-reading it again this week and  working on the exercises that she gives as I go along.  I will issue updates on what I might experience as I go.  At this point I don't know how often the updates are going to be, because I suspect that it will be a slow start (to say the least).  I am thinking weekly is most probable, but if exciting stuff happens more often I will post more often!  =)

Who knows, maybe as I go I'll finally get some introductions to the ghost(s) sharing the house with us!  =)

Sleep well friends...

Jewell

Note:  I do not know Rose Vanden Eynden, I am in no way affiliated with her, her book, her businesses, her publisher, or anything else related to her.  Comments about her book are my opinions only and I am in no way being compensated for promoting her book.

My mom! =)

Mom making a goofy face!

I would like everyone to meet my Mom...Mom - everyone!  =)

She would soooooo kick my ass for using this picture, but, honestly, I can't think of a better picture that captures the goofiness of her personality.

Unfortunately I lost my mom  on May 22, 2007 to cancer, and yet I am so thankful that her struggle with it was relatively short.  My parents had come down for Thanksgiving in Nov. 2006, by Christmas 2006 we found out that she had been in the hospital with pneumonia and that the doctors had found something abnormal on her chest x-rays, and she was gone by May of 2007.

In those 5 months or so there were a lot of late night emergency drives from Missouri to Illinois.  Seven hour drives at the drop of a hat to get to the hospital where Mom had just been taken, the wonder what was going on, the worry that she would be gone by the time we got there, and all the emotional turmoil that goes with it.

At the end of her life she was in the hospice to make her departure as comfortable as possible.  Now, luckily, DH and I have our own businesses, and as long as we have internet we can pretty much work from anywhere.  So it made things somewhat easier, but it got to the point where visiting Mom in the hospice was getting impossible for me to handle.  She was losing touch with consciousness, she wasn't able to join in conversation, and you could just see her losing her fight.  In the end she simply wasn't even aware (or at least visibly so) that we were there to visit or that she could hear us speaking to her.  So I told my Dad that we needed to get back home for a while, that the woman that was in the bed was my Mom, but my Mom wasn't there.  I just felt that her soul was already working it's transition at that point, and I just couldn't wait for the inevitable.

DH and I came back home and just chose to wait for that call.  When it came, I woke DH up, and we started the packing process all over again to  make the final trip.  I was physically and emotionally drained.  After 5 months of running and worrying and crying I just had nothing left....running on auto pilot doesn't come close to describing it.  As I'm walking around trying to get stuff packed up again, I smell fresh cut flowers.  It was like I had just walked into a flower shop.  It was overwhelming.  In that moment I knew mom had visited to tell me that she loved me and thanked me for the fresh flowers that I had bought her almost every day she was in the hospital and in the hospice.  At that moment I told Mom "I love you too and you're welcome!" and the smell of fresh cut flowers just disappeared; I told DH about it as we packed things up and got back on the road.

There have been other smaller things that have happened since she crossed that made me think it might be her way of showing that she's still hanging around. I avoid going back to the house, in which I grew up, though because that isn't home anymore without my Mom.  Recently, though, we had to go back because my father was getting married.  We stayed a day after he and his new wife left for their honeymoon, and dad had asked that I go through the stuff that's in the house and take with me anything that I wanted to keep of Mom's or mine.  So DH and I made a trip to Walmart to buy some cheap storage tubs to pack some stuff up in, and then we set about going from room to room, closet to closet, drawer to drawer trying to find what we could find.

I went into the master bedroom and started looking through all of the areas in the room where Mom had kept her clothes and stuff.  I didn't think that there was going to be anything left because when we had been up there helping dad though through her clothes and stuff it was pretty empty by the time we got done, but I did a once through of her areas just to make sure. 

DH had left to go to the front of the house to the living room, and, once I finished looking around, I walked through the door, across the hallway and into my old bedroom, mumbling something along the lines of "Well, at least that's one room out of the way."  In the amount of time it took me to take those 15 or 20 steps, with my back on the room and my focus switched over to the next room, there was a huge BANG in the master bedroom like someone took their fist and hit the top of my dad's dresser with as much force as they could.  I looked in the living room and DH was still sitting there doing work, so I called him to come back with me to help me look.  We walked back to the master bedroom and started opening the drawers on Dad's dresser and in the first drawer we found a grocery bag that was tied shut.  We opened the bag and inside was some of my Grandma's (my Mom's mom) sewing stuff, and old wax pad Gram had used to help her old iron slide better across clothes, and an old eraser of my Mom's that she had used when she was in 1st grade.

Now I am slow on the uptake, but even I got it.  =)  We finished digging through all of my dad's stuff too, and did end up finding some stuff of my Grandma's that apparently Mom wanted us to take with us.

So thanks Mom!  Love ya!

Jewells =)

Enough Already!

I tried to get a post up yesterday, but the post is a pretty emotional topic for me (my mom) so I'm going to take the weekend trying to pound it out.

In the meantime though I have been utterly overwhelmed by the amount of negativity that seems to be coming from all directions this week; flowing completely unchecked.  It's nauseating really.  Media....politics....blah, blah, blah...  Seriously, doesn't anyone have anything nice to say or do, or BE?  Honestly, all the bull is not only irritating, but down right exhausting.  Days and weeks like this just make me want to unplug from the world and disappear for a while....but I'm not sure my system could handle the shock of coming back to the "real" world.

So, today I went searching for something, that could possibly put into a visual, my desire to change the vibe of this week, and I found this picture with the quote on the bottom.  In case you can't read the small print "Your life is your garden, your thoughts are the seeds.  If your life isn't awesome, you've been watering the weeds.  -- Terry Prince"  That pretty much sums it up for me.  =) 

Maybe if we all took a moment to stop and alter the course of our thoughts we could make enough of a difference that there would be some positive changes in this incredibly crazy world that we live in.

So take some time to water your garden and pull those weeds!

Jewell =)

Living, Learning, Searching

I am friends with a beautiful (inside and out), blond haired, willowy, intelligent woman who I love dearly.  It's hard to think of her as a woman though because she's more like the little sister that I never had and so in my mind she'll always be that way.

She and I recently got the opportunity to reconnect in person after about 11 years of not seeing or speaking with one another.  It's one of those connections that never seems to diminish over time.  Of course, we have lost out on a lot of information about the other over the years, but outside of the need to catch up it's still just us - like we've never missed a beat.

While we now keep in touch through Facebook, I've learned that she loves doing yoga and she's turned into quite the travel hound.  She loves to go off and visit and learn about other places and cultures.  Truth be told, her adventurous spirit makes me nervous for her because of her beautiful blond American looks.  In so many ways, she is much braver than I am...if for no other reason than she is willing to eat things that I couldn't consciously put on my plate let alone into my mouth. 

Anyway, her most recent trip was to China where she was able to visit and meet up with friends, as well as visit Tibet.  She was there 2 weeks, and though China is probably a very unique place to visit, the sheer amount of people would probably force me back onto the plane.

I followed her blog daily, and was forced to think a little deeper than normal when it comes to living vicariously through her pictures.  Here's a couple small excerpts of her blog with regard to part of her visit to Tibet (I hope she doesn't mind).

"This monastery is in Shigatse, the 2nd biggest city in Tibet with population of 300,000.  It has 1000 active monks and nuns and was the first time I actually saw many monks actively working chanting in assembly halls.  A few were in the big assembly hall (see picture below) counting money that devotees leave at different assembly halls with specific buddhas that they are praying to for wisdom, health, etc.  I was very much reminded of the baskets they pass at Catholic mass...so needless to say I continue to feel alienated by organized religion of all sorts.  So, I will continue my spiritual journey but coming to Tibet has only confirmed for me what doesn’t resonate with me in religion, not was does.  I’m very surprised by this but I will continue asking questions and searching."

<<< snip >>>

"I’ve always thought that I would go to someplace like Tibet and feel some sort of spiritual belonging or understanding or have an aha moment.  My friend, Bobbi, once pointed out to me that a personal awakening can happen in your backyard, not necessarily on a mountain top in Bhutan.  Well now I know she is/was right (not that I ever doubted that).  I can say for sure that I now know that the moments I have on my yoga mat at YogaView in Chicago are amazing spiritual moments and blessings!!  I will no longer take them for granted just because they are in my backyard (Many thanks and love to my yoga teachers...Quinn, Claire, Erica, Erica, and Tom!!!)  As I walked through these monasteries and temples seeing elderly people barely able to walk performing their religious traditions I reflected quite a bit about the Eastern versus Western perspective.  We discussed this idea in yoga teacher training, the idea of the 3rd perspective.  Not just believing something or in someone just because it is 1000’s of years old, but taking it in and making up your own mind.  What feels right in your heart and soul.   And the idea of devotion...I don’t have the audacity to question the devotion of anyone having never walked in their shoes...but what inspires devotion or what circumstances require devotion?  Now that is a question worth spending a lifetime traveling the world to answer!"

How many times have I had some of these same thoughts over the years?  All of this caused me to think about what I have learned and not learned as yet about religion, spirituality, and the path that we choose to take in life.

Part of my comment to her post was "Keep in mind though, your truth can only be found within you, not without!"

I don't know if that is something that I came up with on my own or if it was something that I read, or something that is a little bit of both.  Yet it's something that I know to be true right now.  Could it change?  Will it change?  I don't know...I imagine, like all things about myself, it will grow, develop, be discarded, be revised....

Religion, as an entity, frequently pisses me off.  Spirituality seems so vague.  Yet, we keep looking for that one thing - that thing that will make us complete, will validate us, will teach us something new and unequivocal about life and the life greater than ourselves.

It's a surprise that for all the words that all the languages in all the world have, put together they just don't seem to fill that void that keeps us searching...

Onward on my journey!

Jewell =)

The power of dreams

The new movie that's out called Inception, deals in the world of dreaming.  It was something that DH had to see [I bowed out as I am not that much into dream manipulation or Leonardo DiCaprio], and he has since informed me [on multiple occasions] that it's awesome, fantastic, the best movie he's ever seen of it's kind...blah blah blah....  =)

Then, today, I received a comment [my first on this blog - woo hoo!] from Jenn on one of my other posts, where she mentioned her dreams are detailed enough that she actually receives significant (and sometimes prophetic) information from them.

All of this has made me think of dreams, and some of the dreams that I have had.  The thing is, I'm pretty sure that I have them, but don't tend to remember them.  I know for certain I have never had any kind of dream that portended the future for me in any way, and I have never done any lucid dreaming while I was sleeping like DH.

No, the dreams that I have that I actually remember are ones where loved ones who've crossed come to visit me.  Even then, I remember the visuals of the whole thing - but rarely is there ever any audio to go with them.  I'm not sure if lack of sound is normal in the dream state or not, but, for me, my dream-time visitations don't have any sound or words to go with them.

For example, when I first began to look for the spiritual path that fits me and to try and develop my psychic/mediumistic abilities, dream-time visits became a rather common occurrence.  My grandfather, has visited me in multiple dreams.  We talk non-stop, we laugh, we talk some more, and, as my body gets ready to rouse itself, I cry at having to leave him behind again...and inevitably wake up crying for him all over again.

My mom has also come to visit, and, though those dream-time visits seem to be shorter, than those I've had with my grandfather, they are just as intense and tearful as the ones I've had with him.

Regardless of the person who's visiting or where we are at, the colors in my dream-time visits are insanely brilliant - so much so that they almost seem to have a life of their own.  If you have ever seen the movie "What Dreams May Come" that movie's colors are fantastic, and still no where close to the intensity of color that these visits get.  They are definitely otherworldly, and very special!

Jewell

Awesome!

Ok, so here is the deal...DH and I have a ghost.  Actually, if anyone were to ask my opinion [which they rarely do *snicker*], we probably have at least 3 as I can be sure of.  In all reality though, there could definitely be more.

We moved into this house going on 6 years ago, and almost immediately we kept hearing heavy footsteps.  Like a large man wearing heavy work boots walking through the parts of the house that have hard flooring.  At first neither of us said anything to the other.  One day, though, I heard the walking and asked DH what he was doing or where he was going.  He yelled at me from the other end of the house and asked if I was talking to him.  I walked in and looked at him, and he had been sitting on the couch the whole time with his headphones in.  He hadn't been up walking around and definitely didn't have his boots on while he was sitting there.  Hmm... 

Since then we have had many different experiences to varying degrees, and they have convinced us that we have a ghost (or ghosts) in the house.  Recently though one of them was feeling pretty noisy.  Whoever [my current name for the ghost(s) until I have something more concrete to call him/her/them] made the sound of sighing in aggravation in my ear, whispered in my SIL's ear, and moved a necklace I had sitting on my dresser. 

Because of the latest wave of activity, DH and I got to talking about the different things that had been going on.  He had mentioned that he had felt like someone had been blowing on his ear or that there were little breezes on his ear or back of his neck.  So one night when he was working late at our office I decided to try to emulate the ghost hunting shows on TV.

So, while the house was quiet, I grabbed one of my little cameras that records video [an accidental discovery since I only learned it was possible to do this on the 4th of July. I've only had the camera for 6 or 7 months - HA!].  I turned out the lights in the bedroom, sat on the bed and started talking out loud to see if I could get anything on audio or video.  Nothing. I basically sat there for 13 minutes talking to myself in the dark. *sigh*  

During the course of the taping I asked whoever it was that was messing with DH's ears to please stop it.  See, DH really, REALLY hates having his ears messed with.  So I told whoever to please stop messing with his ears, and to pinch his toes or something instead.  I really did it with the intention of making DH more comfortable...you know...the whole ear thing. 

So, not getting anywhere with the recording I hit the sack about midnight.  Normally when DH is up late he will sleep in the spare room so that he doesn't wake me up [actually I think it has more to do with this rumor that I snore].  This night, though, he woke me up coming into the bedroom at 3 am.

ME: "What are you doing?"

DH: "I'm coming to bed in here."

ME: "Why?"

DH: "Because something keeps messing with my toes!"

ME: [snort, giggle] "That's awesome!" [giggle that bubbles into a full fledged giddy laugh]

DH: "What?!"

ME: [laughing as hysterically as possible when 1/2 asleep]  "That's awesome!"

DH: "Why?"

ME: "I asked it to do that on tape.  I have it on tape."  [pause - giggle]  "That's so awesome!"

Of course he had no clue what I was talking about, assumed I was pretty much having a different conversation in my head, and went to bed.  I, on the other hand, had so much adrenaline flowing from the validation that someone [other than the cats] was listening to me talk to myself that I had to get up an do some work until I calmed back down.

The next day, DH and I discussed what had happened, and he was stone cold shocked at what I told him.  He described the feeling on his toes like someone was trying to grab a toe through the covers but couldn't quite get a grip because they would slip off.  Apparently he wasn't amused and came running to sleep with his wife.  =)  HA!

I am forever under strict orders to not use him as a guinea pig unless he's been informed.  [Party pooper!]

Jewell  =)

My first real memory...

Ok, so maybe not so much my first real memory, but my first real significant event in something that I remember but have never really been able to explain.

When I was still in school [like not out of HS, still living at home school] my grandfather died.  It was the middle of the night, and everyone was in bed asleep.  For whatever reason, I jolted awake from a sound sleep, pulled the covers over my head, and started crying [bawling really, truth be told].  I remember saying something along the lines of "Oh, grandpa!" while I cried.  I didn't know why I was doing it or how I knew that he was gone, but I knew it as sure as the tears rolled down my face that he had died.

Probably 2 minutes later I heard the phone ring in my parents room and my dad's muffled answer, and shortly after that my mom speaking in muffled tones.  I don't know if she was talking on the phone or responding to dad, but shortly after they came into my room to officially tell me he was gone.

Apparently he had sat down in his favorite chair to watch the news like he did every night, their poodle Muffin had jumped up in his lap as she usually did, and he closed his eyes.  [Now, in my family, to watch TV with your eyes closed is pretty standard procedure.  I mean really, I think we are all born with off switches in our asses.  The sad thing is that my grandfather wasn't even related by blood...so this means it was a contagious thing even back then!]  When grandma was ready to call it a night, she got up to take out the dog and wake up grandpa so she could drag him off to bed like she did every night.  It was then that she discovered he'd passed away in his sleep as he sat in that arm chair with the dog.

To this day I don't have any idea what it was that woke me up, or how I knew that he was gone.  It's not like in the movies where he would have been standing at the end of the bed telling me his final goodbyes while I was still too groggy to process that he was standing in my bedroom.  What I am sure of is that I just knew...now to find out how.....

Jewell  =)

Tada ..... ??

Ok...well I have been dinkin' (yes - dinkin') with this thing more than enough - I think!

So not so much sure where I should be starting on a blog like this.  I mean with my other blog it was pretty easy to face that first blank post form...this one - not so much.  I expect I'll still have some my sense of humor and my snarky-ness here, but probably not in such large volumes.  =)  I am hoping to learn some things about myself, my journey in this life, figure some stuff out, and try to develop some skills as a medium.

Welcome along for the ride...can't wait to get to know you (and me)!  =)

Jewell